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Robber Rabbit : The Scaryduck Brain Dump

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Hutton and all that

The Guardian has asked readers to rewrite history as Lord Hutton might have seen it. Here we go, then:

It is clearly my view that the events depicted in the Bayeux tapestry were utterly without foundation, and presumptions made by the embroiderers were obvious exaggerations of the historical record. Claims that William of Normandy would be able to deploy his archers "within forty-five minutes" are absolute fiction, based on the word of one discredited "arms expert" who was unfortunately laid low in an unfortunate outbreak of plague only last week.

One can only come to the conclusion that there are severe editorial discrepancies at the Bayeux Embroidery Corporation - notably the inaccuracies regarding Harold's oath of fealty to William, of which, following another outbreak of plague, there is no compelling evidence - falsely accusing King Harold and his advisors of exaggerating the threat posed by the Norman regime in order to precipitate war.

God save King Harold. Is there a doctor in the house?

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