Meme mania

I didn't want to do this. Misty made me.

SEVEN THINGS I...

Plan to do before I die:

1. Get my book published
2. Get my other book published
3. Visit New Zealand
4. Get my own penguin and call him Mr Flippers
5. Build my own house
6. Write a sitcom
7. Outlive all you other buggers

Can do:

1. Write
2. Memorise complex train timetables
3. Take a decent photograph
4. Shoot the ‘nads off a fly at 300 yards
5. Land an aircraft
6. Look busy
7. Drink several pints without going to the toilet

Can't do:

1. Plumbing
2. Plastering
3. Face the truth
4. Go up a ladder without falling off
5. Resist buying useless crap
6. Turn back time
7. Get an incredibly well paid job doing very little

That attract me to the opposite sex:

1. Breathing
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7. God, I’m so shallow

Things I say most:

1. “Bollocks”
2. “Cashback!”
3. “Moc moc-a-moc”
4. “Fuck”
5. “You cunt”
6. “Yes, dear”
7. “Tea! A nice one.”

Celebrity crushes:

1. Flabby armed Kirstie Allsopp
2. Wonky-eyed Sarah Beeny
3. Rather charmimg Kate Winslet
4. Even more charming Emma Thompson
5. Coming to a CD player near to you soon Kate Bush
6. Hardly mental at all Alison Goldfrapp
7. Lovely, lovely Janet Ellis

People I want to take this quiz:

1. “Don’t break the chain, it’s back luck”
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7. Whoops.

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