BadmintonThis story (not my work, thank God), appeared in Wednesday’s Fiver newsletter from The Guardian, and is, quite possibly, the funniest thing I have ever, ever read. Clearly trumping any mirth and woe that I can come up with, I feel terribly inadequate.
"My mate Mark used to play badminton at a local sports centre many years ago and it happened that a pair of twenty-something couples would always be playing on the court next to them," reveals David Hurst, introducing today's embarrassing public faux pas.
"The couples were obviously good friends and would playfully joke among themselves during their games," he continues, cleverly building the suspense while simultaneously leaving us in no doubt that these people weren't just ships passing in the night.
"Often they would swap partners for a game (this is badminton, remember, not a swingers night), everyone having a nice and jolly time of it." OK, we get the message. They all got on like a house on fire. Now get on with it.
"One evening during a swapped partners' game, one of the women bent over to pick up the shuttlecock. Her team-mate said in a loud voice: 'Oh look, you've got a loose thread hanging down from your skirt!' and proceeded to make a big song and dance about how she was too scruffy to be his playing partner, before giving the thread a good tug.
"To his own and her total embarrassment, he discovered it wasn't actually a loose thread... Both couples immediately walked off the court without speaking and my mate never saw them playing badminton together again."
© David Hurst and Guardian Newspapers, obviously. But it’s out in the wild now.